All I wanted was to express myself.
The birthday wish and the prayer that led to 'A Woman Uncaged.'
Once upon a time, I was trapped.
My dreams were big, but I felt sick, sad, and small.
Then one year, I learned how to free myself, and everything changed.
Today, I am A Woman Uncaged.
Hi!
It’s Malana.
I’m publishing a fresh post today to let you know that my publication is now titled A Woman Uncaged!
Going forward, my posts can be found at awomanuncaged.substack.com.
I also want to say a big THANK YOU for being a subscriber.
Being able to write and share what’s on my heart is truly a dream come true.
It feels like I’ve been waiting for this chapter of my life for… well, all of my life.
And I suppose I have been.
As the story goes…
It was the year 2020, the day before my birthday, when in a weed-induced fit of frustrated inspiration, I penned a wish in my journal:
“April 4th, 2020: All I want for my 32nd birthday is to express myself.”
I didn’t know it at the time, but writing down that birthday wish was like a prayer to the Universe.
Because not long after that, I DID begin expressing myself in a whole new way.
I began openly writing and speaking out about what was going on in the world and how wrong it all was.
Who were they to try and cage us in? To tell us what to wear on our faces and when and where we could go?
And it felt amazing! And liberating!
But it wasn’t enough.
Because at that time, I was:
Afflicted with a decade-long weed addiction
Suffering with a chronic pain disorder
Plagued by night terrors and flashbacks of sexual abuse
In a toxic, dead-end marriage
Living in a location that felt all wrong for me
I’d already been living inside a personal cage of my very own– for decades.
All of which impacted my ability to fully express myself.
So it’s no surprise that just a couple short months after writing that wish, I reached a breaking point.
I was finally willing to accept just how unhappy I was in every area of my life and that I didn’t know what to do.
This time, I did write a prayer. A genuine, wholehearted soul cry of a prayer where I surrendered everything to God and BEGGED for help.
“June 20th, 2020: Dear God, I am BEGGING you for the answer. Please tell me what I need to do. I am so lost. SO LOST.”
Around that same time, I also remember writing down three specific things that I wanted: sun, palm trees, community.
I didn’t know how, I didn’t know when– I just knew it was time to finally admit that I wanted more and that I wanted different.
After writing down that prayer, I found myself listening to my brain less and my body more. When I felt a strong push, I surrendered to the moment, and let my instincts lead the way.
Like my instinct to pack up and move states without a plan– to finally leave a big misaligned chapter behind that had been weighing me down for too long.
With one thick, matted layer gone, I felt hopeful, inspired, and more motivated.
From there, my faith deepened, and I began more deeply exploring another feeling I’d been getting.
The feeling to open my heart to and get to know Jesus Christ– who he really was and what he’d been trying to tell us.
Shortly after that, my desire for weed began to wane, and I lost the urge to get high everyday.
And not long after that, as the fog began to lift, I was led to the exact support I needed to finally change my life for good:
An incredible woman named Liana Shanti– a woman who teaches who Jesus really was and what he’d been trying to tell us.
My prayer to God just a few months prior had officially been answered– I no longer felt lost. I felt right at home.
From there, with Liana’s teachings and my newfound faith in Jesus, I was able to heal my drug addiction, night terrors, and chronic pain disorder, find the courage to free myself of the abusers who’d caused them, and leave my toxic, dead-end marriage behind.
I was finally FREE.
Now today?
I’m living uncaged in Hawaii under the sun, amongst the palm trees, and as part of an amazing light-filled community of women where I continue to express myself.
One of the best parts of this story is that on June 20th, 2023, three years to the day of surrendering everything to God, my story was featured in a book!
I’ve also told parts of my story on Liana’s podcast, on live talks, and in content all throughout my social media and this publication. And I’m only just getting started.
I truly got my birthday wish and so much more than I could have ever dreamed of.
And it was all because I let go and let God so that Jesus could step in and show me how to free myself and become the woman I was born to be.
So when I say thank you for reading, I truly mean it from the bottom of my heart– it’s taken everything in me to get here, and it’s an honor to have my story witnessed by so many others who’ve uncaged or want to uncage themselves, too.
We all deserve to soar.
With Love,
Malana
"When we understand that we are each divine sparks, never separated from God, we are able to remove the cages of fear that enslave us." – Liana Shanti
Wow, I absolutely love this! Your story is Lifeproof and evidence that intentional and authentic prayers really do come true, when we’re completely surrendered to Jesus! SO happy for you 🥰🥰 Thank you for sharing! 💖
Love how this is all unfolding in divine timing. I’m sure you’re inspiring so many to follow those nudges, speak truth, and make the change that’ll make them happy ❤️❤️❤️